The Junk Drawer: Keep Your Hands Satanized and Off Your Weenus Edition


I know I had some soy sauce in here somewhere…

Welcome to this edition of the junk drawer. As we have outlined in previous junk drawer posts, this is a random collection of stuff that is important but didn’t fit anywhere else, much like that drawer in the kitchen of most of our homes.

With signing students up for classes and monitoring midterms, it’s been a bit chaotic, but there’s always time for a post:

From the “Maybe Wait Until After Work” department:

As we detailed here at the start of the pandemic, Zoom meetings can be disastrous, something journalist Jeffrey Toobin found out earlier this week when he was caught masturbating during a break in the action:

During a pause in the call for breakout discussions, Mr. Toobin switched to a second call that was the video-call equivalent of phone sex, according to the two people familiar with the call, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Asked Monday afternoon about reports that he had exposed himself, Mr. Toobin said in a statement: “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

“I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added. “I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me.”

I’m not going to tell anyone how to live, but if you’re bored during a video chat, maybe, y’know, play cribbage on the other screen? Also, I’m sure the instructions for future breaks in Zoom calls at the New Yorker will no longer be: “We’re breaking for 10 minutes, folks. Do whatever you need to do and then come on back.”

Speaking of returning to the scene of the crime…


Toobin: I got caught on a sex call at work. This is the worst thing ever.
New Orleans: Hold my beer.

In journalism we look for oddity in things to kind of “spice up” our day-in, day-out coverage. Sometimes, we don’t have to look that hard for it:

A kinky sex romp between a New Orleans priest and two dominatrices on a church altar has led New Orleans Archbishop Gregory Aymond to set fire to the altar where the “deplorable” act took place, The New Orleans Advocate reports.

The headline on the follow-up story is one of those you only get to write once in a lifetime, if ever:

Attorney for dominatrices says group sex with priest was legal

Speaking of things that might be legal but you really don’t want think about anyway…


Way to really target your audience:

I explained to my blogging class that you rarely, if ever, get comments or feedback from readers of your blog. Today, I got this email from a “reader” who “liked” my blog and had a few thoughts for me:

First, that opening line and that closing line don’t give me a lot of confidence in your ability to write something for this blog.

Second, and more importantly, please tell me what kind of vibe I’m putting out there that makes you think, “Hey, this guy’s blog is where ALL the people are coming to learn about increasing female libido and ‘wife-taking’ tips!” I need to fix that before I get arrested and/or every small religious school that adopted my textbooks decides to use them as kindling for a bonfire.

Speaking of things that clearly missed the mark…


Viva L’Otters and people who spell right:

Found this through a friend on Facebook and I’d gladly credit the original source (and interview them for the blog about it).

And speaking of terrifying times and fear…


From the “It’s Too Bad That New Orleans Altar Isn’t Available For This Kind of Thing” Department:

Make sure to keep satanizing and stay safe out there.

See you tomorrow.


A.K.A. The Doctor of Paper


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