As we noted in an earlier post, the Junk Drawer is usually full of stuff that didn’t fit anywhere else but you still need, so let’s enjoy a few of the more awkward moments sent in by the hivemind and other friends out there:
I’M GOING TO AUBURN!
Either they meant the SEC (Southeastern Conference) Tournament, or they’re going to start a hell of a recruiting war with Alabama. I’m pretty sure the University of Southern California Trojans and the University of South Carolina Gamecocks plan to take part in next year’s tournament.
IN OTHER ODD FETISH NEWS…
Either this is a horribly misplaced modifier or this husband is a porn channel vigilante. “One man stands for the murder of porn channels… Joe Don Baker stars in, ‘The Porninator.'”
Speaking of modifier problems…
ARE WE JUST NOT DOING PHRASING ANYMORE?
A friend passed this along from a grading session:
To be fair, I’m sure I’ve done some of my best work while filled to capacity… Another friend followed up with this gem:
My favorite example to illustrate the point is “Ugly or not, the team will take the victory.”
Speaking of ugly…
YOU MIGHT WANT TO FIRE YOUR MARKETING DEPARTMENT:
I get that people want some sort of cute, kitschy vibe for their group, but this is what can happen when you don’t really think this through:
(A special note of thanks to the person who used the very last erg of her battery to send this to me. I don’t think my phone is capable of getting that low without giving me a “Really? You don’t know what a charger looks like?” look.)
Speaking of things in “Ouchtown”…
I DO NOT THINK THAT WORD MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS
A friend ran across this in a court story:
“His arrangement will be Tuesday in circuit court.”
It will likely include several roses, some peonies and 8-to-10 for breaking and entering…
Speaking criminal intent…
WHY IS THE TRUTH ALWAYS STRANGER THAN FICTION?
Question: How do Russians train whales to harass specific ships? The bigger question: How do you become an “expert” in whales that have been trained by Russians to harass ships?
Until next time,
Vince (a.k.a. The Doctor of Paper)